Before I ever met you, I already wanted to be
Your friend, and your lover, full of possibilities
Easily it came, the compatability, and the lust
And afraid of hurting feeling I wished it away at once
I got scared, and I crumbled, crying out a joke
A sick one, a dirty one, rotting in my throat
I pushed you to that circle, the friendly little aboad
Thinking you’d be happy there, even if it hurt
So now we’re in that moment, knowing what could’ve been
And suddenly I’m realizing, how much I regret the sin
Of hurting you, and killing time, hoping you’d be same,
Or maybe you’d be fine with it and it’d all go back to today
where friendly waves, and random talks, is easy as it goes
And until then I apologize because i know a heart was broke
I guess it’s karma, I accept my fate, I know it’s fair and good
I’m sorry though, I really am, because I think it hurts me the most.
Does are concious really stem from guilt and lack of personality? Or does our concious make up the broad dimensions of decision when we are at a loss to make our own. I find that our concious kicks in, in the dead of night in which we are sound asleep and our dream life comes alive. Our dreams are always confusing, and most of the time we don’t have the interest to remember them. But, in the interest of keeping this short, what if my, your, dreams are more then what you give them. They’re a message, they’re hope, telling you to right a wrong, or make the move. Constantly re-arranging yourself in a way of self-interest, it’s no wonder our decisions and an alternate way of deciding your life was created, we’re a little to pressed for time to do it logically.
Sometimes I find, I have a major expectation for someone, something, or some event, and yet because of my expectation(s) i dilute from the present and the complete potential it may hold. I’m distracted, I am at fault and yet I still find ways to look to others and let them take the blame by default. Time to give yourself love, nurture, and overall rest in a sense of complete bliss and pleasure should never be over-looked when given the time. Hoping everyone is having a superb spring break. Owe it to yourself.